Saturday, April 13, 2013

50 How to be a good shepherd in three easy steps




The door slowly opened.  The two beautiful red-heads paused their terrible session and turned their attention upon Kris as he entered.  He came in quietly and looked around the old house.  He remembered coming here a few times as a kid.  Kris picked up a picture the Old Man from a side table.  Old Man Kennedy intimidated him, but Kris thought highly of him.  “Always liked your Old Man, Maggie.”  He placed the picture back where he found it. “It really is uncanny, you know.  How much you two look alike, that is.  Uncanny.  Almost like looking into a mirror.”
Kris had shaved his head with Maggie’s disposable razor.  But the end result was not a high-and-tight masterpiece such as any self-respecting local barber would have prided himself on.  Kris’ hair was generally gone, but his skull still had great lawn-mower strokes of uneven stubble.  The blade had been dull to begin with, so his head was also scraped raw in places; patches of half-congealed blood glistened dully in the dim living room light.  His sutures were inflamed as well; one half of his face was a scab and dark circles ringed eyes which were windows to a darkened interior.  This once-beautiful soul was clearly worn threadbare.
Maggie had one arm fully outstretched with her sidearm pointed squarely at Mary’s third eye.  “You look like absolute hell, Kris.”  She attempted a joke, “If you were going for shabby-chic, you’re exactly half-way there, man.”  Maggie’s own fair Irish face was pink from crying and her hair wild from combat. 
“Yeah, there’s a lot of that going around,” Kris retorted darkly.  “So,” he nodded towards Mary, “Whatcha got there?”
“She’s Alpha, Kris.  She’s the one who killed those girls.”
Kris laughed.  He laughed not because he should have figured out that Mary was Alpha, but more because of the sheer absurdity of it all.  “Of course,” he said, “it had to be Mary.”  He was sure that the Universe would have not had it any other way.  There was nothing left to surprise him.
Mary accused Kris, “This is your fault, Kris.  If you would have called Maggie off, none of us would be in this room right now.  Why couldn’t you get rid of her so that we could get back to the way things were.  Everything was working so perfectly.  Innocent people got hurt and I blame you, Kris.  I blame you.  We are a family and we could have taken care of our own problems, if you just would have let it be.  We could have fixed everything.”
Maggie asked Kris, “So, did you ever find your Truth?”
“I finally figured out what Donnie’s crime scene was about.  The essence of it, you know, all that.  Punishment.  That’s what it was.  Punishment.”     And then Kris asked Maggie a most serious question, “You killed Donnie Gomez.  Right, Maggie?  You . . . You’re Omega.”
“No, Kris, “she choked through her tears, “Think about what you’re saying.  Omega raped and killed Anastasia Demopaulos.  Clearly that is something I couldn’t have done.  No Kris, I am not Omega, I am something completely different.  I am Justice.  That is what Donnie was about.  Not Punishment, Justice.  Donnie was Omega.  Donnie Gomez was the copycat.  And yes, I killed him.  I killed Donnie Gomez in that exact seat where Mary is seated right now.  Donnie followed me home, and I killed him.”
“What?!  You killed my Donnie?!” Mary wailed.  “No!  No, baby, no!  Maggie what have you done?  How could you do that?  You had no right, Maggie.  How can you be the judge? You had no right!”  Mary was hysterical.  “You had no right to do that!”
“He came in here uninvited, and I killed him in self-defense.  I just happened to be . . .  better prepared than most.”
Mary fumed, “Don’t you get it, Kris?  This is her little spider’s web!  She lures people in here and she has this placed rigged up with traps all over, and then she executes ‘em, baby.  That is not justice.  She executes them.”
Kris, with a look, asked if this was true.  Maggie, with a look, confirmed that it was.
 “How long?” Kris asked.
“Since I realized that the system doesn’t always work.  Since I realized that I was really good at it.  Maybe eight years.”
“Jimmy told me that you used to be a legend.”
“Yeah, well, I don’t need fame, Kris.  My job is to protect the people.  That’s it.  My purpose in life.”  Maggie was the only one in the room crying.
Kris felt like he had vertigo.  His perspective was all wrong, like he had someone else’s glasses on.  Distances seemed impossibly close and far away at the same time.  Something about a sword and a leather band kept knocking at the back door of his mind.  Something about an angel and truth.  Something about a roller rink.
Kris reached out for Maggie’s wrist.  She did not pull away, but offered herself with the shy hesitation of a new bride.  He took her wide leather watch off.  Exposed beneath, a gnarled purplish scar ran like a bad weld for an inch and a half along both faces of Maggie’s wrist.  He touched the wound and it embarrassed Maggie.  He touched the tattoo and said, “Protection?”
“How did you know that?”
“Three semesters of Hebrew.”
“Did you always know what it said?”
A thought was trying to take shape in Kris’ mind.  Something Maggie had said to him a while ago, something about a path to enlightenment:
“A good ass-kicking is the first step on the road to enlightenment, my friend.” 
But this could be said more poetically. He thought:

Step 1:  A good shepherd must be willing to suffer injury to protect his flock.

Kris noticed the red-red blood on Mary’s white-white fleece, and it made his equilibrium swoon.  “Are you going to kill her?” he asked.
“She is Alpha!  It’s not a matter of choice.  I have to kill her.”
“But she can’t,” Mary said, “because she knows that I am her and she is me.”
“Shut up, Mary.  This is not a freakin’ Beatles song,” Maggie reared back as if to pistol-whip her older twin, but she couldn’t do it.  “We are nothing alike.  I kill bad-guys.  You kill good-guys.  We’re nothing alike, Mary, and make no mistake, you will die.”

Step 2: A good shepherd must be willing to inflict injury to protect his flock.

Kris lunged for Maggie, lunged for the gun.  He tried to hit her, shove her back and grab the weapon out of her hand.  But Maggie did some counterattack that was so graceful and quick that Kris didn’t really even see it.  He felt the melee of punches and the butt of the gun crashing against the back of his neck, though.
Kris had a sort of déjà vu as he found himself in the exact same position that he had been in moments before, only now with an evil tingling radiating up from his third vertebrae into the base of his skull.
“Give me the gun, Maggie.”  Kris reached out with an open hand.
“I know this is hard for you to understand,” Maggie wept, “I know you must think this is the most savage thing you’ve ever seen, that things like this don’t happen.  But things like this do happen, Kris – all the time.  You just pull back the thinnest veneer of this world and “man’s inhumanity to man” is all around us.  Kick over any stone and you’ll see the vermin run from the daylight.  This is not your little bubble, Kris, with summer camps and chubby-bunny and feet-washing.  This is the real world, Kris!”
“I know.  And I know you.  I know your secret name.  I – know – you.”  Kris moved cautiously closer to her, as if towards a feral animal, “You are Lauralei.  Give me the gun, Lauralei.” 
Lauralei’s defenses reluctantly withered.  “I haven’t heard that name in half a lifetime.”  Against her own will she gave the gun to him.  She looked down at the ground as she held the weapon out, ashamed – ashamed that she was not strong enough to do the thing for which she was made – ashamed that she couldn’t shoot Mary, the Alpha.
Kris took the gun, took Lauralei in his arms, and kissed her.  She did not kiss back.  “Oh well,” he thought.  “I tried.”
 Blam! 
A gun blast. 
Lauralei’s body rocked from the concussion.  She looked in horror into Kris’ dead eyes.  “No,” she breathed. 
Blam! Another blast from the gun. 
Blood splashed both of their faces. 
“To hell with it,” Kris said, “might as well empty the clip now.”  Blam-blam-blam-blam-blam-click-clikclickclick. 
Blood pooled silently about their feet.
Lauralei collapsed into Kris’ arms.  “No no no no.”

Step 3:  A good shepherd must be willing to slay one of his own sheep to protect his flock.

Enlightenment

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